friends mean well when they say,"it's only your imagination.don't worry.there,s nothing to be afraid of."but you and i know this kind of fear medicine never really works.such soothings remarks may give us fear relief for a few minutes or may be even a few hours.but the "it's-only-in-your-imagination" treatment does't really
build confidence and cure fear.yes,fear is real.and we must recognize it exists before we can conquer it.
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friendlyjokes
JOKE1: The Hollywood actress liked her tenth husband so much she decided to keep him for an extra for night.JOKE2: Journalism -that extraordinary scribbling to be found in your daily paper ,on the back of the advertisements.(with thanks to G.K . Chesterton.)JOKE3: he‘d give his right arm to be ambidextrous,JOKE4: Shortly before the annual Independence Day celebrations of July 4th a nervous and inexperienced high school teacher in Evanston ,Illinois ,hands each child in her class a special book of facts all about their American heritage .She warns that she will be giving a stiff test just before the 4th .Any one who fails will stay behind!With the books all collected in on test day she fired question one: ‘who spoke the proclamation of the second continental congress, declaring that henceforth the thirteen American colonies would become politically independent of great Britain and then signed it and in which year?’A subdued class said nothing .Then a hesitant voice ventured, ‘Miss was I john Hancock in 1776?’‘Well done, Miguel! As for the rest of you, you should be ashamed; Miguel arrived here from Mexico only six weeks ago and already knows more than all of you.’‘stuff the Mexicans!’ a voice floated up from the back of the class.‘Who said that?’ snapped the teacher.‘General Custer, at his last stand, battle of Bighorn,1876,’ rejoined the voice, smugly.JOKE5: A hillbilly boy from Nashville ,Tennessee, announces to his folks: ‘I’ s a’ go in to Knoxville, to fetch me a wife.’A few days later he returns with a nubile young sweet heart called Mary Lou. She is introduced to all the family, cramped around the kitchen table of their tiny shack.Come six o’clock his father says, ‘well my boy, I guess you two deserve the family bedroom now. Your Maw and Paw can sleep down here.’ So the happy couple go off up stair. Half an hour later a shotgun blast rattles the timbers. And then the son clambers slowly down the steps from above.‘Whatever happened?’ inquired his mother.‘I shot her,’ said the son.‘Why?’‘She was a virgin.’The boy’s Grandpa, who had sat quietly though all these proceedings, was first to break the thunderstruck silence; ‘son, I guess you did the right thing-if she was no good to nobody in her family, then she ain’t no use to any of us!’JOKE6: Two army colonels were talking in the desert.‘I’ m afraid charles has gone a bid mad, old boy.’‘oh! In what way?’‘he’s run off with a camel .old boy. actually eloped with the thing .’‘Was it a female camel?’‘of course-There’s nothing odd about charles , you know.’JOKE7: ‘How long were you in the army?’‘About six feet three and a half inches.’JOKE8: Art circle 1: ‘I think the neo-plasticism of the abstract design proves the mystical, metaphysical and non-humanistic approach to the objective concept of abstraction.’Art critic 2: ‘Yes you have a point there! Infact, it’s obvious even from a casual glance that this painting was created by paranoiac-critical activity, brought about by spontaneous dynamic sensations, sometimes made by somnabulistically inclined campanologists, who crate a picture of transcendental non-curvilinear and curvilinear objects expressing subjective feeling in a cubistic manner.’Art Critic 3: ‘I fully agree with you both – it’s rubbishy painting!’JOKE9: I went to Australia recently-but it was closed.JOKE10: A man visited a large town in Australia and asked one of the locals: ’Does this town have any night life?’‘Yes, ’replied the local, ‘but she’s ill today.’JOKE11: Barber: ‘Sir, how would you like your hair cut?’Customer: ‘off.’JOKE12: The beaver said to tree: ‘It’s good to gnaw you.’JOKE13: Adam was The world’s first book –keeper. He turned over a leaf and made an entry.JOKE14: The only thing that prevents me from being a big-amist is the thought of having two mothers-in-law.JOKE15: The two birds met for the first time in a tree and one of them said: ‘Bred any good rooks recently?’JOKE16: The World’s shortest book contained no words. Its title was: ‘ All I know about women’.JOKE17: My boy friend has a good head for money-it’s got a little slot in the top…JOKE18: The lady was searching for the last word in value in Christmas turkeys. The butcher showed her a bonny bird but she hesitated and asked if he had a slightly bigger one.‘I will have a look in the cold store.’ Said the butcher, and disappeared for a minute or two.In fact it was his last bird so what he did was to ruffle all the feathers up and put the bird so what he did was to ruffle all the feathers up and put the bird into a shallow box so that it would look bigger.‘here we are .’ he said, ‘is this all right?’‘Ooh, now that is super,’ said the women. ‘I think I will take both!’JOKE19: One tribe of cannibals were converted by missionaries t becoming good Catholics—they ate fishermen only on Fridays.JOKE20: One clever cannibal toasted his mother-in-law at the wedding dinner.JOKE21: The hippie cannibal ate three squares a day.JOKE22: One cannibal wanted to become a detective so he could grill all his suspects.JOKE23: One day two male centipedes were standing in the street when a female centiprde strolled past.One male centipede turned to the other and said: ‘Now, there goes a nice pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs ….’JOKE24: The two little girls were busy boasting to reach other about how great their respective fathers were.‘My father had lunch with Shakespeare yesterday,’ said Sally.‘But Shakespeare is dead,’ commented Clare.‘Oh,’ replied Sally, unperturbed. ‘No wonder dad said he was quiet.’JOKE25: Angela’s mother was looking in the mirror and plucking out the few grey hairs which she found in her head.‘Mummy, why do you have some grey hair?’ inquired Angela.‘Probably because you’re such a naughty girl and cause me so much worry.’‘Oh!’ said Angela. ‘You must have been a devil towards grandmother.’JOKE26:’ Mummy,’ said little Jimmy,’ I want to live with Carol next door.’‘But you’re both only six years old,’ smiled his mother. ‘Where will you live?’‘In her bedroom.’‘What will you live off? You don’t have any money – and what will you do if babies come along?’‘Well,’ said Jimmy, seriously, ‘we’ve been all right so far …. And if she lays any eggs then I’ll thread on them!’JOKE27: A small boy was peering through a hole in the fence of a nudist colony. His friend, Paul, came up to him and asked: ‘Tim, what can you see? Are they men or women in there?’‘I don’t really know,’ replied Tim, ‘none of them have got any clothes on.’JOKE28: Five-year-old Michel’s mother was expecting another baby, so his father decided to have a little talk with him.‘Michel, something important is soon about to happen. Large stork will fly over the house carrying a bundle, and will drop the bundle down our chimney, and …..’‘Oh!’ interrupted Michel. ‘I do hope the stork will do it quietly and won’t make a sudden noise and give Mum a shock; she’s pregnant, you know.’JOKE29: Five-year-old Steven: ‘Are you a virgin?’Four-year-old Susan: ‘No. Not yet.’
